"So... what have you been doing since you left your job?"

I almost toppled off my platform sandals when it occurred to me that it’s been 200 days since I left my job. 200 DAYS!!! That’s a pretty good chunk of time.  Thinking about it, I realized that 200 Days is:

                  Just over two trimesters of pregnancy.

                  Twice as long as my maternity leave.

                  Equal to four summers at my son’s sleepaway camp.

                  The length of an entire NFL season.

                  Eight years worth of vacation days at my old job (ouch, that one hurt.)

That certainly puts “200 days” in a new light.  Considering that an average healthy adult could walk from New York to California, and back again in about that period of time, I feel a teensy bit of pressure to report that I’ve actually used these seven months of unemployment productively.  After functioning for the last 32 years in a goal-oriented, results-driven mode, I still tend to judge myself in a kind of quantifiable way.

My list of things to do post-retirement is massive, and includes such things as taking piano lessons, photography courses, tennis lessons, volunteering, coming up with at least one way to make millions, writing a book, cleaning out all my closets, and doing a multitude of projects around the house. The sad reality is there’s been very little that I’ve actually crossed of my To-Do list, and, in fact, I keep adding to it rather than subtracting. This realization makes me feel pretty crappy…no, a better word might be guilty…that somehow I’ve wasted this gift of time. 

Of course, some days are more productive than others. There are those that I’ve spent hunched over the calculator trying to solve the national debt, and then others when I’ve  given my dog a pedicure. But then I think, who really cares how I spend my days? And why am I approaching this 200-day milestone as if it’s some sort of mid-year self-performance review? 

Fortunately, just before putting myself on Oral Warning, I recognized that the only one putting pressure on me to be accountable for what I’ve been doing…is ME. Rather than dwell on what I haven’t accomplished, I thought it would be better to make a list of 
“Ms. Toody Goo Shoes’ Best Things About The Past 200 Days.” Here goes.

          I’ve been exercising five days a week.

          I may have put on a few pounds, but I’ve stopped weighing myself on 
          the Work/Life Balance scale.

          I am a shadow of my former stressed-out self.

          I now know where the early-morning drop-off spot is at school.

                    I’ve been burning through books on my Kindle Fire.

          I've kicked my "Sunday Night Dreads" Ambien habit.

          I have had time to notice the buds.

          I don’t have to use vacation days to go to the mall.

          I started this blog!

And the best thing about the last 200 days?

                   I’m home every day when Junior Goo Shoes gets off the school bus.

So, for this mid-year review period, I have decided to rate myself “Exceeds Expectations,” not in recognition for what I’ve done, but for allowing myself the right to take pleasure in doing nothing. True, I haven’t used my time to solve the teenage bullying problem, or created a new iPhone ap that will make us gazillionaires...Yet. But I’ve got time.

And, if the only thing I’ve gotten out being home for the last 200 days is simply having more time to spend with the Goo Shoes family, well, then, I’m good with that.

Amy