Involuntary Macslaughter

Have you ever made a really costly mistake?

A costly dumb mistake?

Yeah, been there, done that.

But when it could have easily been prevented...

ouch...it hurts even more!

Let me give you some advice right off the bat.
Don't drink and type. 

Ever. 

I want you to get up right now,

and move that mug of coffee, glass of wine,

can of soda...whatever...

far, far away from your computer.

  

OK, that's better.

This was supposed to be a blog post about a 

delicious chocolate cake recipe, 
but instead, it's about Mac.

He's dead.

He drowned in a cup of coffee.

I'm the one who killed him.
 It was involuntary macslaughter,
and I am full of remorse.

I first spotted Mac back in September,
in an Apple store.
Yeah, I was "looking,"
but I'm not the kind of girl who settles.
The room was full of other potential contenders,
yet he stood out in the crowd. 

It wasn't love at first sight, though...
I thought he was too big for me...
Maybe a smaller one would be just fine.
I'm mean, does two inches really matter?
Size isn't everything you, know. 

I took him to the Genius Bar to get to know him.
Mac handled my interrogation like the Pro that he is.
In fact, his processing speed was 

almost faster than I could ask the questions.  
And, he had a lot more drive than the other laptops.
 "OK," I told him, "I'm sold. Let's do this."

It didn't take long for us to fall into a comfortable routine.
I liked to turn him on first thing every morning.
He could go for hours.
But it wasn't always about him.

He never once complained about accompanying me,
no matter where I wanted to go.  
Whether it was outside on the deck...
on a vacation far from home...
or just to the iMovies...
Mac and I were attached at the hip.

I could count on him for his logic...
He could multi-task like no one's business...
and whatever my preferences were, he was totally agreeable.
His memory? It was virtually photographic!

My lap-dog and my lap-top

Yet, it wasn't a perfect relationship.
Oh, he was a cursor, all right...
at times, his words had real byte!
And, he was very complex.
I couldn't really get inside his head.
Sometimes he sent me messages that I just couldn't understand.
 I had to go to someone else, 
and say, "what do you think he means?"
At other times, he completely shut down on me.  
(and pssst -
I think he had Narcolepsy...because many times, 
he would go to sleep right in the middle of a sentence).

I admit it -- I cheated on him sometimes.
I mean, can you blame me?
The desktop was constantly beckoning from the office.
It was hard to resist the temptation...
of its large, 27-inch screen.

So, back to what happened...
The other morning,
I was drinking and typing.
Risky behavior, I know. 
I'd done it way too many times than I care to admit.
But sitting down with Mac and a cuppa joe
was the perfect way to start the day...
or so I thought.  

My coffee mug was to the right,
and in one fell swoop,
Mac was drowning in hot Java.

"Oh, Mother - #&%$  Board!" I cried.

I jumped into action, 
trying to save him.

I gave him CPU CPR,
and for a few minutes, he lingered on...
And then...just like the finale episode of The Sopranos,
his screen went dark.
Forever.

 
He never knew what hit him.

Yes, Mac was the iPhoto of health.
Never sick a day in his life...not even a virus. 
I wish I could go back in Time Machine,
and start the day over...
or at least, retrieve all of my pictures.

 And, now, I've snapped him shut for the last time.
I'll never forget him...he was iconic, and can 
be replaced by spending a lot of money
never be replaced.

RIP, Mac...
 we had a great gig while it lasted...
with lots and lots of memory.

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